write erase rewrite

but then who’s hurting now?

Gotta end this now. Goodbye. I will miss you. 

And always remember, I will love you even if we’re apart now.

I know this distance is hurting you. It hurts me too. But you gotta be strong J, you’ve got to be strong for me. I can’t do this alone. Just a few more months. Please. Just a few more months.

Fuck yeah!

You made me really happy last night. You have introduced me to a couple of people in your family since we met - your cousin, brother, niece. I have met your mother but this one’s the best meeting of all. Having that lovely chat with your other brother and his wife was the best gift you could give me. It gave me a sense of how important I am to you. I really appreciate it. I asked them a lot about you. It still might be a long shot before we could be where they are, I’m still positive though that it will happen. I trust my feelings. Happy New Year indeed. :)

That’s what you said and I feel you’re ready to move on and be in a relationship again. I’m just not sure if it’s with me. Damn it’s a roller coaster ride and now we’re talking again. Who would’ve thought. You activated your facebook again, a lot of friends added, a sign of you going back to your normal life. Yes, I might be stalking you but that’s just because I want to know you more, more than our small skype world. You said the girl you like is living here. I’m gonna hold on to that til I can finally hold you.

Phonies. Liars. They are everywhere. But I can’t handle them especially at work. One colleague has been absent since Monday because she had an accident from a trip she had been last weekend. Lol. Honestly girl, you fool yourself. You’re as fine as a horse. I can tell from your tweets. Passing all the responsibility to us when you actually have all the time to manage that shitty task is just so lame. You’re really as stupid as I thought you were the first time I met you.

Then I spent a good half-a-day long overtime with some more shitty people. They keep on blaming me why they have to overtime when they aren’t in the project. Seriously dumbasses, complain to the boss, to whom you have said yes to. In the first place you all said yes so shut the fuck up.

Oh god I’m so stressed.

That hit me. It’s so easy to forget you because of what you’re doing to me but there’s no way of understanding why I stayed. Yes. I did stay. It seems to you that I accepted it, that we’re parting ways and that I’m cool with it (like how I try hard to act like it) but hell no. If I accepted it, I will not check on you every day. I’d be mad and surely keeping a distance by now. That’s how I move on. But I’m here. Maybe partly the reason was I can’t accept that you’re wasting your life because you never moved on from that heartache she caused you. I also think that’s one reason I fell for you. I was amazed at how deep you can love someone. I’m just crazy upon thinking that I would get it too. I’d be happy if you tell me you are seeing someone now as a reason we can’t be together but it’s just not the case. You are killing yourself. You’re the most amazing person I’ve met. I wish you know that. I wish you would listen.

Coz I met you, I don’t think I’d be settling for anyone less.

Like I do? You just went online. Not through your phone this time. I typed something but I never sent it, not yet. I’m hoping I won’t accidentally hit enter, but if I do I wouldn’t care so much either.

I wanna know if you’re still waiting for me, like I how I’m waiting for you.